A tribute

Over Christmas, I lost my best friend of 13 years, Genna.  You may remember that I wrote about her on her 12th Birthday last year [You can read it here].  Well,  this post is dedicated to her, and to anyone that has ever lost an animal.  They are our family and there is no shame in that.

This is the story of my best friend.

Begginning, middle and end.

I told you in Genna's birthday post about her early years, but I skipped on the heavy stuff.

The truth is, Genna came to me in the most difficult period of my life so far.  I was 13 (a shoddy age anyway) and I'd just started a new school after a ton of rubbish therapy.  I was a little narcissistic as most teens are and I was, quite frankly, depressed as hell.  The whole shebang.  Therapy, medication and struggling with life in general.  But that's a whole other story for a whole other day, I just wanted to set the scene in which she entered my life.

So there I was.  Trying really hard and heading down a dark path anyway, despite all the help I was getting.

In a last ditch attempt at pulling me back into the real world, my parents suggested I raise a puppy, and a few weeks later, I was standing at a barn door, watching a little black puppy jump around excitedly.

It was love at first sight, and that little dog saved me.

I'm not saying it was like the films.  It was hard.

After a few bumpy weeks of adjustment (puppies are hard work, she was stubborn and let's be honest, so was I) we had a routine going, and that routine basically involved her never leaving my side, and it stayed that way until I said goodbye 13 years later.

She became my shadow and I'm not exaggerating when I say she went everywhere with me.  She'd come to pick me up from school, she played out on the street with me & our friends, she sat on my lap as I watched TV or did my homework.  She even would sit in the bathroom with me whilst I showered / bathed.  She ate dinner when I did, if I went out, so did she.   We went for walks, spent hours grooming ourselves and basically, were completely inseparable.

We grew up together.

She was there for me through everything.  She sat with me through exam revision.  She was there during my first crush, first kisses, first boyfriend and first heartbreak, and then every heartbreak after that.  She comforted me on my first hangover and was there after my first day of college.

So there we were, a nice little team, pottering along quite nicely as a duo.  Then, when I was 16, Kris entered our lives.

I always joke that she picked my husband for me, because after little or no interest in any other boyfriends, she utterly adored Kris.  She was there when we eventually got engaged, came with us on our days out and she was very much a part of our wedding day.  A mini version of her sat on our wedding cake along with us.

She came with me when I moved out, and was there when we bought our first house.  She wove herself into every aspect of my adult life.

The three of us came as a package deal, and we had an awesome time together.

After all, she saved my life and gave me something to live for when I felt like I had nothing but my family.  She loved me unconditionally at a time when I felt unlovable and she gave me worth when I felt worthless.

She suddenly got poorly just before Christmas.  Even after being given the all-clear only a week before, she just seemed to get worse.  I looked into those big brown eyes and I just knew it was time.  She had made my life easier all those years ago, I felt it was my turn for her.

On the last day they hospitalised her, put her on a drip and did some more tests.  When they came back and told me her body was slowly shutting down, with no real cause to it's suddenness, I'd already sort of known it was coming.

After a full life, with no illnesses prior to this, she was struggling to adjust to a life of medication, drips and renal food.  I knew she hated it.  There were options to keep her alive for a few more days, but it was more than likely she'd just go overnight.  I know my dog.  She was stubborn as anything, she had made her mind up to go, that's exactly what she would do.

We couldn't let her face that alone.

We agreed there and then to give her a dignified death, painless and peaceful, surrounded by people who loved her.

They bought her into the room, and put her on the table.  She immediately rested her head onto my shoulder and leaned into me, the way she used to do when I came home.  I held her to my chest and told her she was the best, like I always did.  It was like any other hello, except it was our goodbye.

She slowly lowered into my arms and they put her to sleep.  The last thing she would know was us stroking her and telling her she was loved.

My world feels ever so dull and empty without her in it.  It was very strange crying and not feeling her little nose resting on my leg, or to not have her little bright face by my side in the mornings.  I still go to step over her in the night and throw her tidbits, and I catch myself about to call her before I quickly remember that she isn't there.

Quite frankly, it sucks.

But we had such an amazing time together, full to the brim of brilliant stuff.  We tackled school and heartbreak, dodgy hair cuts & college together.  We ran along beaches, swam in the sea, climbed up rock faces and were together for nearly every minute of our time together.

I can't be sad about that.  Even though everyone who met her, misses her incredibly.

She came into my life and made it infinitely better, I am going to continue on that path with her shadow still at my side.

R.I.P Genna Jinx.


  1. Full on ugly cry going on over here, lol, how absolutely wonderful to have had her in your life - she's always going to be your angel. <3 My family still talks to our long since passed dog, and talk about what he'd think of certain situations, etc. He was a crazy black lab named Toby. The suck never really goes away, nor should it, but it does kind of fade a bit. You just eventually learn how to do life differently. Big hugs to you, this was a beautiful tribute.

  2. Crying my eyes out here. Beautifully written tribute xx

  3. :-((( This just brought me to tears. I just remember a few years ago I called my mom and she told me that our dog left us and I just had to cry on the phone. (((HUG)))

  4. I know she was a big part of your life. Remember how much she needed you too! Mine have just turned four and I can't imagine our life without them in it. Crying my eyes out, I do understand your feelings of loss. They become a part of us, unconditionally love us and want us to love them back. Can't tell you how much Sorrow I feel for you, but I know I would also feel a void too. Love ya.

  5. I know she was a big part of your life. Remember how much she needed you too! Mine have just turned four and I can't imagine our life without them in it. Crying my eyes out, I do understand your feelings of loss. They become a part of us, unconditionally love us and want us to love them back. Can't tell you how much Sorrow I feel for you, but I know I would also feel a void too. Love ya.

  6. I'm so sorry you had to say goodbye to your best friend, but I am so overjoyed for the life she shared with you. This made me cry a lot, and I"ll hug my pup a little tighter tonight.
    - Cait

  7. So beautifully written, sending lots and lots of love <3 I don't have anything useful to say I am afraid, but what a life she had with you! x

  8. This really touched me! SO sorry for your loss, XOXO!

  9. This is beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss xxx (pbj)

  10. I feel your pain there is nothing else like it on earth when you loose that fury 4 legged member of the family. It hurts just as bad as any human passing I have loved and lost several pets through my life and each one hurt so bad. I still have photo's of them all and miss them all everyday. Hugs & kisses Emma xxx

  11. Oh gosh Emma I had no idea. I know how much she meant to you and your family :( So sorry for your loss. She's up there rocking it and drinking tea with my late 19 year old cat Poppy xx


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