Alternative Christmas gift guide


You've probably already read a hundred and one gift guides for Christmas this year.  All of them awesome in their own way and perfect for finding your sensible foodie friend a good bottle of gin, or a really cool bit of equipment. (FIY, I wouldn't mind a bottle of gin or a tin of biscuits for Christmas.  I fall into that category.)

But what if the foodie in your life has a penchant for novelty items?  What if they adore spice?  Or are addicted to pinterest?!

This alternative gift guide is for those weird, hard to buy for foodie friends & family.  With this gift guide you can find an alternative present for the foodie in your life who:

  1. Has a lot of novelty household items.
  2. Always complains a dish isn't spicy enough.
  3. Will literally try anything once.
  4. Has a nutella problem.  Really bad.
  5. Loves to experiment.
  6. Is really depressed since Breaking Bad ended.
  7. Loves homemade sweets (but you can't be arsed to make them)
  8. Is a pinterest addict.
  9. Is a food blogger.

Pizza Chopper Motorbike Pizza Cutter

image credit:

For the foodie in your life who:  Has a lot of novelty household items.

We all have that one friend or family member.  You go round their house and hang up your coat on a the arse end of a plastic dog.  You drink out of giant mugs with knuckle dusters on the side.  They have popcorn makers, and candle sticks shaped like forks.  They love a gadget and a good pun, so why not indulge in all three with this (probably very hard to actually use) pizza 'chopper'.

Blair's Mini Death 4 Pack

Image Credit:

For the foodie in your life who:  Always complains a dish isn't spicy enough.

For that one hard to please guest you had last year, who spent the whole time complaining about how weak your curry was,  nothing says "Merry Christmas" more than a gift with the word death in the title that is decorated with skulls.  It says "I bet this is spicy enough for you asshole!" Whilst retaining the sense of joy and giving that accompanies the Christmas season.

Salt and Vinegar Crickets Crispy Critters

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For the foodie in your life who:  Will literally try anything once.

They say "ooh, I'm not fussy!" whenever you are making them dinner, and they are the first to try a  new menu item at a restaurant and they jumped at the chance to try reindeer burgers at the Christmas market.  They usually go "Ooh, wonder what that tastes like!" when watching 'celebrities' munch on kangaroo bollocks.  Tick something off this adventurous foodies' list by buying them some insects to eat.  Festive!

Nutella 5KG XXXXL jar

Image Credit: Monarchy Catering - Amazon.

For the foodie in your life who:  Has a nutella problem.  Really bad.

Ah look, is has a bow on it.  Bet that's a big ass bow.  Anyway, this foodie will go through jars of nutella daily.  They have somehow created a recipe for everything possible with nutella in it.  They even know that it's pronounced new-tella.  You're pretty sure they've started a cult about it actually.   Give them this and prepare to be the most favourite person in the entire world.

Molecular Gastronomy Kit

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For the foodie in your life who:  Loves to experiment.

For the Heston Blumenthal in your life.  The fact that this looks like a science kit will not go over the recipients head.   Let them turn their kitchen into a den of experimentation of froths, goo's and other weird stuff that looks manky but tastes like heaven.  Perfection.

Baking Bad cookbook

Image Credit: Waterstones

For the foodie in your life who:  Is really depressed since Breaking Bad ended.

Since breaking bad ended this person is a shell of their former selves.  They post parodies to your facebook wall, they are anxiously awaiting the spin off.  Bridge the gap with the pun and in-joke filled baking book!  With brilliant recipes such as 'Heisen-batten-Burg Cake' and  'Ricin Crispie Treats' you can't afford not to get this.

Handcrafted Marshmallows - Spiced Clementine

Image credit: Mello Mallow

For the foodie in your life who:  Loves homemade sweets (but you can't be arsed to make them)

They turn their nose up at mass produced sweets and declare that any sweets made by robots don't have that handmade touch.  They love homemade rustic sweets, but you haven't quite mastered the whole boiling sugar thing yet..  So pay someone else to make it!    These festive flavoured marshmallows might literally go down a treat.  Last orders for Christmas are December 15th, so get on that!

Mason Jar Shot Glasses

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For the foodie in your life who:  Is a pinterest addict.

They spend their days looking at awesome home ware ideas, cupcake plans and food blog props.  They are slowly but surely turning their house into a live-in pinterest board.  Help them along with these teeny little mason jars.  Pinterest friendly and they will also make you feel like a giant.  Which is awesome.  So actually, this would be good for your vertically challenged foodie friends too.

H&F Plank Bench

Image Credit:

For the foodie in your life who:  Is a food blogger.

Bare with me here.  Food bloggers love a good bit of rustic wood.  Why not treat them to their own little bench of photographic background heaven?!  Small, probably not very easy to move around, but RUSTIC and WOODEN.  I can't emphasise this enough.  You could probably go ahead and buy them a dining room table set too, but that might cost you a few bob.

So there you have it.  Some alternative ideas for the foodies in your life this Christmas.  Please don't blame me if they try to hump you out of excitement, force-feed you crickets or blame you for a burny bum-hole.



  1. Awesome ideas!! I think I know some people who would appreciate that nutella jar... :P

  2. You find the most amazing stuff, Emma. The other day I thought of getting a 1kg Lindt Christman for my I might just get him a huge bottle of nutella :-)) That baking bad cookbook sounds like a fun one too.

  3. Salt & vinegar crickets..... hmmmmm.... I have tried them before, but not just for a snack like that. I live those little mason jar shot glasses!

  4. LMAO these are are funny, especially that bloggers need wood. I have actually never understood why food looks better on rustic wood. Like would I eat my food on crackled wood with paint chips?? NEVER!! LOL! But it looks so pretty!

  5. I love this list but I wouldn't be happy getting the bush tucker trial salt and vinegar bugs.... yuck!!! But the rest is pretty cool :D And yes the sad truth is a food blogger would love that bench, can I get one?

  6. Chilli sauce is always a great gift in our house. We get through so much of it!

  7. Baking Bad WOOO on my christmas list :P

    Choc Chip Uru


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