Food trends that I don't understand

On the 3rd of August, I turn 25.  The big quarter of a century.  This gives me the fantastic ability to now lean back in my rocking chair and complain about things I don't understand.  I get that there are hot topics that we need to incorporate into our blogs to gain some views, but here's a few food trends that I just do not get the full extent of.

1. Bacon Worship.  Do we need bacon lipsticks? Bacon toothpaste? Poems about bacon?  Bacon handbags?  What is this madness?!  I once saw bacon lube in a shop.  A bloody knickers shop at that.  Like do you really want your ding-dong to smell like cooking meat?  Is that sexy for you? 

2. Cake pops.  Are you supposed to lick them?  Bite them?  Put it all on your mouth at once?  Or are they for decoration?  I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.  They are like mini works of art, I don't want to eat them!?

3. Posh versions of junk food.  This usually means "A smaller portion of a food you want a lot of"  Healthy versions of junk food I'm on board for though, as long as it tastes good.

4. Deconstructed meals.  So basically, I'm paying 10x more for you to not assemble it in the first place?  I really don't understand!

5. Weird tableware in restaurants. Remember when I joked about how in real life I don't eat out of mason jars or off chopping boards?  Someone didn't get that memo in the restaurant business.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to eat a pasta dish off of a chopping board?  Or pour cream out of a jar with no spout? I'm all for being a bit different but when it makes it impossible to eat off of?!  Not impressed.

6. Sriracha.  I had some.  It tasted like hot sauce, I don't get how it's better than the rest.

7. Umami.  I actually have no idea what this is but it's popping up everywhere, it literally just reminds me of ross from friends and nothing else.

8. Dissing others lifestyles.  Why do we have to validate our lifestyle choices by making others feel rubbish about theirs?  Let vegans be vegans, let meat eaters be meat eaters and if people post sugar free recipes, be grateful for the ideas!  Why can't we all just get along and agree that cooking is awesome? 

9. Calling food slutty.  What did those brownies ever do to you?

10. Gender based foods.  Burgers for blokes.  Pink shimmery cocktails for ladies.  Any weight loss foods aimed at women and their awful ad campaigns.  Fecking 'man crisps' and 'delicate ladies chocolate bars'  Get over yourselves food industry.

11. Chocolate pizzas.  I'm sorry but I just don't get it.  Maybe the one I had was pants or something but to me it was just an expensive chocolate slab with chocolate on top.  Okay so you can't complain about the chocolate part, but it tasted like cheap chocolate.  Nasty stuff.  Plus it was really hard to eat like a pizza.  -Hello chocolatey fingers-

ON THE FLIP SIDE:  Here's some food trends I am totally on board with.  Let's end on a positive note.

1.  Hidden vegetables.  Amazing.  Avocado chocolate mousse, Courgette bread rolls, Beetroot chocolate cake.  These are all delicious recipes I have tried and LOVED.

2.  Do it yourself.  I love that making your own sauces, meat rubs and bread is back in vogue.  These are awesome life skills to learn.  There is no shame in not knowing them but they are brilliant to have on hand.

3.  Alternative grains.  Everyone is sick of hearing about quinoa and chia, but damn, they are awesome and if no one was talking about them, they wouldn't be appearing in my local markets right now, which I love.

4.  Juicing.  Sorry but I'm not sorry.  Juicing is awesome and I have at least one a day.  Have you ever tasted just made orange juice or apple juice?  Or carrot juice?  It tastes a gazillion times better.
5. Flourless pizza base recipes.  Pizza can never be bad, but pizza without the bloat, gut ache and pizza pounds?  Ten times more awesome.
6. Bloggers writing cookbooks.  It's ever more popular for your favourite blogger to create a cookbook.  How awesome is this?!  I have several saved on my wishlist.
7. Bakers twine.  Not overused thank you very much.  Wrap me up in it, make a dress out of it, whatever you need, that twine makes stuff look awesome.

What are the food trends that you love and hate?  Do you disagree with me? Comment below!

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