Food trends that I don't understand

On the 3rd of August, I turn 25. The big quarter of a century. This gives me the fantastic ability to now lean back in my rocking chair and complain about things I don't understand. I get that there are hot topics that we need to incorporate into our blogs to gain some views, but here's a few food trends that I just do not get the full extent of.
1. Bacon Worship. Do we need bacon lipsticks? Bacon toothpaste? Poems about bacon? Bacon handbags? What is this madness?! I once saw bacon lube in a shop. A bloody knickers shop at that. Like do you really want your ding-dong to smell like cooking meat? Is that sexy for you?
3. Posh versions of junk food. This usually means "A smaller portion of a food you want a lot of" Healthy versions of junk food I'm on board for though, as long as it tastes good.
4. Deconstructed meals. So basically, I'm paying 10x more for you to not assemble it in the first place? I really don't understand!
5. Weird tableware in restaurants. Remember when I joked about how in real life I don't eat out of mason jars or off chopping boards? Someone didn't get that memo in the restaurant business. Do you have any idea how hard it is to eat a pasta dish off of a chopping board? Or pour cream out of a jar with no spout? I'm all for being a bit different but when it makes it impossible to eat off of?! Not impressed.
6. Sriracha. I had some. It tasted like hot sauce, I don't get how it's better than the rest.
7. Umami. I actually have no idea what this is but it's popping up everywhere, it literally just reminds me of ross from friends and nothing else.

8. Dissing others lifestyles. Why do we have to validate our lifestyle choices by making others feel rubbish about theirs? Let vegans be vegans, let meat eaters be meat eaters and if people post sugar free recipes, be grateful for the ideas! Why can't we all just get along and agree that cooking is awesome?
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9. Calling food slutty. What did those brownies ever do to you?
10. Gender based foods. Burgers for blokes. Pink shimmery cocktails for ladies. Any weight loss foods aimed at women and their awful ad campaigns. Fecking 'man crisps' and 'delicate ladies chocolate bars' Get over yourselves food industry.
11. Chocolate pizzas. I'm sorry but I just don't get it. Maybe the one I had was pants or something but to me it was just an expensive chocolate slab with chocolate on top. Okay so you can't complain about the chocolate part, but it tasted like cheap chocolate. Nasty stuff. Plus it was really hard to eat like a pizza. -Hello chocolatey fingers-
11. Chocolate pizzas. I'm sorry but I just don't get it. Maybe the one I had was pants or something but to me it was just an expensive chocolate slab with chocolate on top. Okay so you can't complain about the chocolate part, but it tasted like cheap chocolate. Nasty stuff. Plus it was really hard to eat like a pizza. -Hello chocolatey fingers-
ON THE FLIP SIDE: Here's some food trends I am totally on board with. Let's end on a positive note.
1. Hidden vegetables. Amazing. Avocado chocolate mousse, Courgette bread rolls, Beetroot chocolate cake. These are all delicious recipes I have tried and LOVED.
2. Do it yourself. I love that making your own sauces, meat rubs and bread is back in vogue. These are awesome life skills to learn. There is no shame in not knowing them but they are brilliant to have on hand.
3. Alternative grains. Everyone is sick of hearing about quinoa and chia, but damn, they are awesome and if no one was talking about them, they wouldn't be appearing in my local markets right now, which I love.
4. Juicing. Sorry but I'm not sorry. Juicing is awesome and I have at least one a day. Have you ever tasted just made orange juice or apple juice? Or carrot juice? It tastes a gazillion times better.
5. Flourless pizza base recipes. Pizza can never be bad, but pizza without the bloat, gut ache and pizza pounds? Ten times more awesome.
6. Bloggers writing cookbooks. It's ever more popular for your favourite blogger to create a cookbook. How awesome is this?! I have several saved on my wishlist.
7. Bakers twine. Not overused thank you very much. Wrap me up in it, make a dress out of it, whatever you need, that twine makes stuff look awesome.
What are the food trends that you love and hate? Do you disagree with me? Comment below!

5. Flourless pizza base recipes. Pizza can never be bad, but pizza without the bloat, gut ache and pizza pounds? Ten times more awesome.
6. Bloggers writing cookbooks. It's ever more popular for your favourite blogger to create a cookbook. How awesome is this?! I have several saved on my wishlist.
7. Bakers twine. Not overused thank you very much. Wrap me up in it, make a dress out of it, whatever you need, that twine makes stuff look awesome.
What are the food trends that you love and hate? Do you disagree with me? Comment below!

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I like bacon, but a bacon lipstick? nay...I don't want to smell like a kitchen. Not sure what is a deconstructed meal, but chocolate pizza? Thanks, but no thanks.
ReplyDeleteI thought avocado is a fruit..no?
Eek! i have no idea, if it is then I've learnt something new!
DeleteCheck out this chocolate pizza: http://www.stylist.co.uk/life/recipes/gu-chocolate-stuffed-pizza-recipe...it's a lot more pizza-like!
ReplyDeleteThat's one I could get on board with...
DeleteChopping boards and slates in place of plates.... the enemy of waiter/waitresses everywhere...... They are so blasted hard to pick up! x
ReplyDeleteTeheee, I didn't think of it from that point of view!
DeleteI don't get deconstructed meals either but I love posh versions of junk food. I know, I know. Junk food just looks so much better than regular junk food :/
ReplyDeleteIt looks prettier, I'll agree with that, but it's normally so much smaller!
DeleteI agree with the chopping board being the enemy of waitresses! This is brilliant. I don't understand deconstructed meals at all, why on earth would you find a perfectly good food and then split it up!!
ReplyDeleteS xo
blinkeredbarbielife.blogspot.com
Exactly! Good food belongs together!
DeleteOh my god, I just lolled at how 25 warrants being in a rocking chair and pretty much waving your walking stick shouting 'get off my lawn' LOL. Girl, if 25 is old, I'm ancient at 33... sigh.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's the Brit in me, but bacon in muffins, cupcakes, anything sweet wants to make me vom. Maybe it's just me, but I ram cake pops in my mouth... whole. :) I don't quite understand the slutty thing either, there's other ways to say they're great. Never had a chocolate pizza, but I want to make one with super creamy cadbury chocolate and other wonderful things on top.
Another food trend I don't get is chilli in chocolate. No thank you please.
Lisa // Sweet 2 Eat Baking
I've never tried chilli in chocolate.... but that's a good one! I don't know how I feel about that...
DeleteLol slutty.... I totally agree what is the deal with that? And I kinda agree with you about cake pops they are beautiful but just not enough to satisfy that sweet tooth craving. Loved this article really made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteThanks Emma! :)
DeleteI know exactly what you mean! I don't understand the bacon obsession either and am a huge fan of vegetables in cakes.
ReplyDeleteCheers Caroline :) Veggies in cakes are very underrated!
DeleteBacon makes everything better! :) I don't understand cake pops either... but they are pretty.
ReplyDeleteThey are! But most of the time they are mostly cake balls?! I want more than a ball!
DeleteOk so bacon... I have a confession. I have a bacon print tank top on as I write this. But it's super cute and it was a gift. Plus bacon is delicious.
ReplyDeleteThe slutty comment made me laugh out loud, I totally agree. When I first saw the title used in recipes I was very confused! Poor brownies... they are innocent!
Ok I am all with you - what is a deconstructed meal?? :P
ReplyDeleteGreat list!
Cheers
Choc Chip Uru
I felt freakish liking maple syrup & bacon flavour popcorn as much as I do but considering the bacon themed items you've found I am feeling pretty normal! Totally agree on the blogger written cookbooks, at least you know there will be recipes upon those pages you can cook, want to cook and more important can afford to cook! Another funny post, well done :) x
ReplyDeleteAgreed! I have never met a cake pop I got on with, they're okay but not really worth the bother! I love pulled pork and I know it's the black forest of our time but salted caramel I mean seriously..mmmmm xx
ReplyDeleteI will never understand , pumpkin spice everything(like the bacon, pumpkin pie is wonderful but why in the hell do you need it in potato chips and candy melts) funfetti(or basically anything else where literally the only difference is the color, rainbow is not a flavor people)
ReplyDelete