Friday, 19 September 2014

I haven't had a very good week.  It was one of those weeks where everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong.  I'm not even exaggerating, every problem you could think of happened, and so I sit here on  a Friday, (naturally after receiving some bad news, because this is the week from hell) a little bit dazed and massively in need of a hug.  What's a girl to do?

When I was a teenager, I found a poster that said "When life hands you lemons, stuff them in your bra."

That little poster made me laugh, and I kept a copy of it on my school notepad, in my diary, on my wall and even tried to get my dad to agree to putting one in the living room. (He didn't. I got sulky and I vaguely remember telling him to stuff a lemon up his arse.   I was a lovely teenager.)

The main this is that every time something horrible happened, I'd imagine screwing it up into a ball and stuffing it down my top and no matter what, it would make me laugh.  This is probably why I've been blessed with a rack that utterly obliterates any blouse buttons.  PING.  Years of stuffing metaphorical lemons down there has it's perks. Amiright ladies?!

The main thing I aim to put across from this story, apart from going massively off subject (hehe boobies) is that we all have our own ways of dealing with tough times.  I no longer have my lemon-bra poster, but the message is still ingrained into myself.  I must always handle bad times, with a good sense of humour and food.

I know I can't be the only one, in fact I KNOW I'm not because a lot of the people I love and care for are with me, by my side, rightfully complaining about the hand they've been dealt recently along with me.

Which is why today, I've scrapped the post I was going to write, and instead I'm writing a list of all the stuff that cheers me up.  I'm dedicating it to all of you out there who have had a rough time of it.  Hope it cheers your day a little too.

Picture the scene if you will.  I've had a seriously bad day at work.  I get home, slip into something comfortable, put on a little mood music, have a drinky poo and cook myself a meal.

Did you picture a nice little sexy number, some jazz and me sipping wine as I bopped around my kitchen.

If so, thank you for picturing me as a sophisticated adult.  But you are incredibly mistaken.

SOMETHING COMFORTABLE: This is my first tip to cheer yourself up: Have fun pajamas.  Mine have toast & eggs on them.  Eggs with smiley faces and toasts with mustaches.

MOOD MUSIC: Epic film soundtracks.  I'm talking Pirates of the Caribbean, Inception, Batman Begins. I'm talking epic strings, booming drums and big BWAHHHH's.

DRINK:  Chocolate Milkshake.  For the win!

Don't tell me you don't feel amazing after mashing potatoes to this?

 Extra points if you karate kick your way to the fridge or gambol over to the oven. Even more points for not setting yourself on fire.  If you can fit a cool pun filled - catch phrase in there, I'll be your best friend.

Nothing beats a good old fashioned STD Day, hang on, jesus, is that what the abbreviation of this is?  Man I didn't think this through at all.  Yikes.  Let's think of a different name for it.  As I'm lacking all creativity today, let's call it SD DAY.

I like to think of myself as a fairly healthy person, I juice, I cook from scratch and I actually own work out clothes now.  But some days, I want cheesecake.  I want cheesecake even though it makes me gassy as hell.  I want a hot chocolate.  I want wedges for dinner.  I don't want to clean out my juicer.

So I don't.

I don't exactly go all out and order a takeaway, but I'll make myself a dinner that would make a crossfitter have an actual cross fit.  I'll have a beer.  I'll have CAKE.  I block out all the stuff I read about sugar levels, carb intake, and revel in my bloated, happy stomach.

Here's some good SD day recipes:

Toad in the Hole
Diner Style Potato Wedges
European Style Hot Chocolate - Sweet 2 eat Baking
Mini Oreo Donut Recipe - Mess Makes Food
Banana Crepes - The Noble Foodie
Blackberry Jam & Custard Doughnuts - The Sugar Hit

Add your SD day recipes in the comments!

 Puns rule the internet.  I love puns more than iced buns.  And I love iced buns.  There is a song in there somewhere.  Thank you internet, you weird and wonderful bastards, for creating them.  Google puns and float off into a land of pun-tastic mayhem.


Reading that back, it sounds a little like snuff film, so I'm not having much luck with this titles today.  When I'm feeling blue, I leave out long, attention keeping films and instead I bring out the fluff.  I'm not talking about boring brain dead films,  I'm talking The House Bunny, Easy A, Legally Blonde and the likes.  All that shit you're supposed to be embarrassed for liking.  Disney's and cartoons are also a big win.

Sometimes, when life doesn't go your way, it's good to watch it all work out, for something to be predictable and happy.  Watch your fluff with pride!

I sing all the time, which is fantastic because I can't sing a note.  Which is even more fantastic when you hear that one of my best friends is a vocal coach and she is subjected to my singing on a regular basis.  Why don't I care?  Because singing out loud is the tits.  I make up songs about my dinner, I will serenade my animals (shut up, they love it) and best of all I have sing offs with my best bud Phil.
  Me, Phil and my husband have been known to break out into harmonies that would astound you.  Once whilst walking the dog we all broke out into an epic rendition of Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees.  I have never felt so brilliant.  We will even text each other Lyrics, usually when I'm feeling blue.  Best thing about this whole situation is Phil's wife is my vocal coach friend.


I'm not talking about going to the zoo and forcing a hug on a monkey or anything.  Though how cool would it be to hug a monkey?  If you have an animal, go give them a cuddle.  Pictured above is a really old picture of me and my families dog Logan.  He loves a good cuddle.  When I'm blue, I get to have a hug with 2 dogs and five ratties, and all of them love having a bit of fuss.  Here's some pictures of my furry family giving me some hugs.


 If you don't have a pet, borrow one!  Go visit a friend with a furry, or if all else fails, use a teddy bear.  I won't judge.  Gen won't either...

I am budgeting at the moment.  We're saving for house updates, (if only life were life the sims Ctrl-C Motherlode,) a big holiday next year and paying off little bits from my wedding.  So big treats are out of the question, which makes the little treats all the more fun and awesome.

I'm sitting here with a coffee.  I didn't make it.  I got it from a coffee shop.  Check.  Whatever it is that you don't normally buy yourself, maybe a little candle, a dvd or a game.  Just this once, TREAT YO SELF.

I can pull that off right?  Right?!


Saving the best till last. These are some of my favourite videos.  From happy cows, misheard song lyrics, parodies and epic rap battles.  These are the videos that cheer me up, time after time.

Misheard Song Lyrics

If you've ever seen I give it a year, you probably laughed at the scnee where she gets the lyrics wrong to songs and it drives him mad.  Which is frankly, possibly the only thing I laughed at in that film.  But we all love a good misheard song lyric.  Here's a collection of some.

Cows are cute too

I love cows.  Not eating them, but just them.  I think cows are cute and this video just makes me smile every time.  After a long winter, wrapped up safe in their barns, the cows are let into their grass patch for the first time for spring.  Their excitement is contagious, their joy is amazing.  I love it!

Sophie rolls down a hill

Everything you need is right there in the title, but you can't even begin to understand how great this video is until you watch it.  We should all be a little more like sophie.


My friend sent me this a few months back and I think I've watched it about 60 times since then.  There are no words.


This will just make everything better.

Epic rap battle

If you haven't seen the Epic rap battles of history channel before then you are missing out!  Where else can you watch cleopatra diss Marilyn Monroe?  Gandalf rap the crap out of dumbledore?  Or my favourite - Frank Sinatra and Freddie mercury.  I love the zings.  I love the music.  I love the comebacks.  I think it helps that these are two of my favourite musicians ever.

Your grammar sucks.

Once again another series that you should totally be watching.  It's premise is simple: A guy reads bad youtube comments aloud, as they are written.  This is my favourite pure and simple for two reasons:

-My ding ling ling
-Badly spelt pap roach singing.


The Hillywood show have been making brilliant parodies for years, but this is by far my favourite.  They've got everything down, from the camera shots, to the costumes, the voice actors are spot on and theres a lot for non whovians and whovians alike.  It's even better when you learn they wrote it, directed it and did everything themselves.

Patty Cake overload

This is brilliant!  Just for the pure feel goods.  FEEL GOODS.

Bad Lip Reading

Hate twilight?  Don't worry, I'm not a fan either, but this will make you smile.  Bad lip reading is exactly what it says on the tin.  A guy lip reads and then dubs his version over the top.  My favourite part is at 1:18 - Click to watch the most bestest epic scene about cake.  Give it a chance.


This part inspires me and makes me jealous because I wish I could draw like this.  Pay tribute to an awesome actor and amazing artist by giving this a watch.

Here's to a better week next week.

What cheers you up when you've been handed a whole bunch of lemons?  Comment below!

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Friday, 12 September 2014

So this post is a little late today because I've been on a road trip, visiting in hospital, three parties and multiple other things for husbands birthday, which was yesterday.  SO now I'm finally home, and I'm going to whack out a food photography blunders.

When it comes to food and the internet, I haven't had the best of luck.  That's what happens when you're a gullible twit who doesn't think things through.

Like the time I typed in "naughty courgette recipes" whilst on a diet, to try and find something desirable whilst retaining a sense of health and instead came across a nudist cooking class in America whose slogan was "CAMEMBERT  ALL!" and I saw pictures of all sorts of flaccid bananas flapping around kitchen work surfaces.

Or the time I used a random experimental recipe from Google, without trying it first, and had the weirdest flan-type birthday cake ever to take to a party.  No one liked it.  My feelings were hurt.  A flan went in the bin.  I fell to my knees and screamed to the heavens.  A normal Sunday evening.

But my main problem is, that out there on the internet, is lots of awful awful food photos, that I have taken, because I AM THE MASTER of awful awful food photography.  Yet I am so bloody proud of each weird little collection of pixels because, well, it's like loving a three legged dog, it's got a few bits missing but it means you love that weird little bastard all the more.

Let's not beat around the bush.  Let's get to it.

To catch up on my brilliant photography and editing skills take a look at Food photography blunders 1 and Food photography blunders 2.

Seriously.  Yummers.

Hey guys, it appears that at one point in my life I thought I could say/type the word yummers without a single hint of irony.  I am fully aware now, that I  cannot pull off the word 'yummers', nor can I pull off saying y'all or any sort of text speak.  I am not hip or cute enough for these things.  Don't worry though, I've redeemed this whole situation by giving it a thumbs up.  That's what cool people do and I do a thumbs up pretty damn well.  Extra points for fitting a jug into this picture and for somehow only cooking the outside of the cookies.


Let's get the main thing out of the way, those cupcakes look like a big old pair of funbags.  It wasn't even intentional.  Which means that this was a subconscious act, so we won't even go there.  I had just started to learn how to pipe icing and so that little plop on top is my little flourish.  All of this, topped off with silver balls, because we've discussed this, balls make things classy as f*ck.  For some reason there are also flowers in this picture and the classic overexposure of one of those cheesy Mills & Boon novels.

I made that for you.  You are welcome.

Hot clogs

In this crazy hectic world, in a kitchen in England, an oven produced a pair of shoes.  It's like that fairy tale where midgets make shoes in a tree or something.  But with sausages and puff pastry.  Only the gods can answer why a classic sausage roll, came out looking like clogs, but I think we should embrace it.  Or make a movie out of it....

Not mushroom for jokes.

To properly describe my feelings for this picture, I need to show you another picture:

I think I can say, on behalf of all the world, that is all that needs to be said on the matter.

Sex and the shitty

I made this at about the time I was watching a lot of sex and the city, and thought cocktails were the height of sophistication.  You can't tell from the lack of focus, but that there, sticking out of the concoction is a parrot on a stick, which I thought was very cosmopolitan.  Pirates are in, right?  Ignore the lack of focus, the random beer cans and the fact that it can apparently shoot laser beams from it's stem, because this got me sloshed, good and proper, all in the name of science.  Science?  Yeah, why not.  Science.


I don't blame you if you won't want to try these burnt crossiants.  I was told the recipe I used would make my dough rise like an overly enthusiastic zombie and what I got was several deformed crab claws. Whoever said that making your own pastry was way more rewarding than heading to a bakery obviously hasn't spent 5 hours chilling, kneading and shaping, only to have this be the end result.  My reaction of course, was to take a picture, on the same plate as always, and put it on my blog because apparently, displaying these to my family wasn't enough humiliation.

Obvious Burger is obvious.

It's not just the bad overly yellow picture here, or the fact that this bloody flowery plate is making ANOTHER appearance, but it's the tagline that truly gets me.  "I made these turkey burgers using turkey and spices and bread" .  It just makes me laugh every time.

Speaking of grammatical mistakes, there will probably be hundreds in this post alone because I wrote this between parties and I don't have time to read-through.  That's how much I love you all. 

Have a great weekend!

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Tuesday, 9 September 2014

Disclaimer and all that Jazz: The people at teapigs sent me a sample box of tea to try and another for you to win. but they haven't paid me off, so all of the opinions  and ideas below are mine, and the people who I shared the tea with.  Cheers!

DISCOUNT for Fork & Good readers:  Get 10% off teapigs goodies using the code foodforkgood on  Offer excludes matcha kits, cheeky deals and pick & mix.  Discount code ends 30th September 2014.

I don't know if you've picked up on this, but I love tea.  I try to drop subtle hints, here and there, to share my passion for a good brew, but sometimes, I know these things can just fly over peoples heads. -wink-

The people at teapigs sent me a little box of tea samples to try, and another to give away (more on that later, lovelies) and I decided that the best way to try all 12 of the teas they sent me, was to do a blindfolded taste test with these fellow tea lovers and annoyingly photogenic bastards:

Damn we're cool.  Like the tea avengers.

You may remember James & Ayse from a previous Tea sampling.  If not, then here's the team:

JAMES:  Giant, band man, prefers a proper English brew, open to trying new things.
AYSE: Heart of gold, master of coffee, artist, helps me drink copious amounts of tea.
KRIS: Bearded, laid back, photographer, husband, lover of all tea and organisation.
ME:  You guys know me.  I'm cool.

We assembled at James & Ayses' brand new house, popped the kettle on and got tasting.

The first problem we encountered on my great tea-tasting idea, was that no one could find anything worthy of a blindfold.  Not even a scarf.  So we used hats.  Which meant we looked like this on one of the sunniest days of September.

We split into teams, boys vs girls because us girls are fab.  We each picked 6 teas, boiled a kettle and took it in turns to sample the teas.

You had to give your honest opinion on taste, what you thought it might be and your rating out of ten.  All without the stimuli of knowing what you were drinking, or it's colour.  All you had was taste and smell.

Another problem we encountered, was that it was pretty hard to pass a cup to someone who is blindfolded, whilst you are blindfolded yourself.  But you know, life is hard, it's about facing the challenges you are dealt with.

Also it's funny to watch.

Let's do this.


Hate it when the string and tag falls in.

We had a great time and the tea was awesome, we all found at least 4 or 5 that we would buy again, and only a few that weren't to our tastes.  So here's your chance to get your own little sample pack of teas from teapigs worth £15!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thanks to the awesome James, Ayse & Kris for the help and to the awesome teapigs for the tea, check them out here for more awesome stuff!  Maybe sign up to their newsletter, it's pretty banging.

Or visit them here:
teapigs facebook
teapigs twitter

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