A few years back a production company emailed me about an upcoming social promotion they wanted to consider me for. I was one of many ma...
A few years back a production company emailed me about an upcoming social promotion they wanted to consider me for. I was one of many many bloggers emailed, but I was feeling pretty emboldened, so I agreed to a phone call. The phone call turned into an 'audition' that I had to film in my own kitchen on my own volition. They gave me no other guidelines apart from "have fun with it." So we got to work.
It is now legendary in my household.
My husband and I created a tape in which I made jacket potatoes. Looking back, I probably could of made something a little more exotic, but alas, I made potatoes.
So, here's how it went. For starters there isn't much to talk about when washing produce. So there are nice, big long pauses, which zoom in on wet potatoes. Without realising, possibly due to nerves, I slipped into an Irish accent and as I can't actually do accents, it sounded like I was having a stroke. There was about 3 minutes where I was normal before it ended with me smiling like a serial killer into the camera whilst my husband slowly zoomed in on my face.
The reply was polite enough, but the main message was clear - we think you're a bit weird, and not the cute, marketable kind of weird either. The kind villagers used to throw eggs at.
And whilst Kris refused to let me feel inferior about it, replaying the face zooming several times, whilst laughing together and drinking gin, it highlighted something for me. I don't want my little corner of the internet to be marketable, I don't want to learn any tricks of the trade to make it more popular, or work with huge brands that demand me to talk a certain way, have a certain amount of followers, and have to have a schedule to post to.
Brands aren't exactly hot on you saying their products are "the dogs bollocks" (even if it is a huge compliment in my book) or that making an absolute tit of yourself at blogger meet ups by saying "What? Who's that? Is that a dish?" about every famous blogger / chef / food trend doesn't exactly make you look informed. My one and only attempt at reviewing a restaurant was this monstrosity. I am not good at being polite when people selling blogger courses email me with "advice" about how to make my blog less shit.
This is my long winded way of saying that I am a terrible food blogger. I love food, I love writing about food, and I love cooking - but as I struggled to write posts, I realised I wasn't writing for me anymore. I felt chained to my kitchen, and my blog stats.
I wanted to write because I like to. Also because sometimes people emailed me to tell me their stories. Sometimes people would tell me reading mine helped them feel less alone or stupid. I met some brilliant people this way, and how can that be a bad thing? It doesn't earn me any money, or make me a career but I think I prefer it.
This isn't me having a go at the industry. The whole blogging world is full of interesting, creative and clever people. If you read them, please send a little thank you and tell them so. You might make their day, because trust me, they put a lot of effort in and take a fair bit of flak. We've all been told at least once to "Put our fecking cameras away."
Whilst I know I don't have to write this post explaining why this blog is slowly changing and that a large majority of people won't actually give two monkeys that it is - I want too. I want to mark it. This past year, I've seen some amazing things, felt like a failure, felt epic, lost people I cared about, rediscovered a love for cooking, tried new things, met amazing new people and had some life changing experiences that, quite frankly expanded beyond the world of food, and I desperately wanted to write about them, but felt restrained by the corner I had boxed myself into.
Which is what this all comes down too. I want to write about things I want to write about and I realised I was the only one stopping myself from doing that.
If you want to stick around with me through that, then that would be fantastic. See you soon.
photos from unsplash.